I remember being about 5 years old, sitting in the back of my parents’ car, and watching my older sister go into a store by herself at the instructions of my mother. My eyes grew wide and tension built up inside me as I pleaded with my mother to “please don’t ever make me do that”. To say I was an anxious kid is an understatement. My anxiety took hold pretty early on, and in social situations it manifested as a default freeze response. I would get really quiet, mute in a way. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk, but rather that I couldn’t. Something would switch off inside me and I would get trapped inside my head. I would either have so many thoughts that I felt overwhelmed, or so few thoughts that I felt like I was disappearing. I would scream at myself inside my head, “say SOMETHING!” This freeze response stayed with me, haunting me, showing up in the most awkward of moments, and contributing to a sense of self-loathing, an inner belief that I am “difficult”, “too sensitive”, and “pathetic”.

I didn’t know until I went to school for occupational therapy (OT) that I had hypersensitivities in my senses of vision, hearing, and touch. I mean, I knew that bright sunlight made it nearly impossible to see, that loud or unfamiliar sounds were sometimes painful, that I would get really overwhelmed in crowds, and that I felt frustratingly conflicted about hugs, certain fabrics, and the textures of some foods. But I didn’t know that there was a valid reason for these responses, that my sensory processing patterns contributed to my experience of anxiety, or that there are many practical strategies to feel calmer and safer in the world. But I found my way to OT and this brought so much understanding and validation to my experience, along with language to describe to my friends and family why I didn’t want to go to a restaurant or why I needed to leave a party at a certain time.

However, this language was still difficult for me to access because of my default freeze response, and because I grew up in a misogynistic white supremacist patriarchy that praises people for being polite rather than for setting boundaries, prioritizes intellect and verbal communication over emotion and sensitivity, and assigns value based on what one looks like rather than recognizing and celebrating the diverse gifts of each and every being on this earth. And so, I learned to hate myself before I even understood who I am.

Fast forward to 2020 and I found myself at the end of a years-long road filled with many losses, toxic work environments, grad school stress, an overwhelming family emergency, and of course, the pandemic. My spirit was exhausted, my body held tension in places I wasn’t even aware of, and I was so inhibited that I had lost my ability to use my voice and couldn’t even fully yawn. I was so afraid of people and disappointed in myself that I pulled away from everything: society, my work, my friends, and my family. I wanted to hide or cease to exist and I didn’t care if I ever got back out there.

Then I met Mia Schacter of Share the Load, Inc. and I started learning how to practice consent. Mia listened without judgement, gave guidance to unwind my tense body, created space to grieve, and showed me how to be kinder to myself. Combined with the knowledge I had developed in OT school, the skills I learned from Mia helped me to say “no” to experiences and environments that overwhelmed my senses so that I could protect my nervous system and prioritize engagement in activities that are meaningful to me. I started to relax, to release my grief, to learn, and to grow.

And one day I had a thought to myself that I had never had before: I love you. The next time I visited my family, the magnitude of this transformation hit me. It was like I was awake for the first time in my life. I had been trapped in my anxiety for so long that all I had seen was imagined cruelty and catastrophe. But now I am able to view the world more objectively. I have an awareness of what I want and need and strategies for remaining safe enough to ask. I have found my voice and a desire to move forward. I have found an ability to imagine, create, and play that is so vital to my existence yet was impossible to access in my state of fear. I am alive again because of my consent practice, and what is even more profound is that I want to be.

Muggins (they | he) is about 1-year-old and they were born in Tennessee. Their ancestors were Treeing Walker Coonhounds, Plott hounds, German Shepherds, and American Staffordshire Terriers.

Muggins loves making new friends, watching the squirrels and neighborhood kids play, sleeping curled up on comfy couches, batting balls around with his paws, and following their nose into snow banks, chipmunk holes, and wherever else the smells go.

Muggins and their siblings found themselves at a shelter at the young age of 4-weeks-old, and they were transported to NY to help them find homes more quickly.

My partner, Tom, and I adopted Muggins the weekend before my first private session with Mia Schachter. Muggins was struggling due to the stress of shelter life combined with a predisposition for anxiety and hypersensitivities in their senses of vision, hearing, and touch.

Muggins’s siblings were adopted quickly, leaving them lonely and with a nervous system so dysregulated that they bit every person they met in a desperate attempt to interact. I knew I had the experience and knowledge to help them, but what I was surprised to find was how significantly my work with Mia would contribute to their care.

Muggins craved interaction with humans and dogs, and demonstrated an intense surge of excitement at the possibility of this, coupled with a unique ability to draw others to them. This quickly became overwhelming for me in my fearful state, as I couldn't figure out how to help Muggins interact with others in a way that cultivated calm and safety for everyone involved. I needed help but could not find my voice to ask for it, and I craved connection with others as much as Muggins did. Self doubt would have surely consumed me and Muggins's social behavior would have only deteriorated as they grew.

As I learned about how to incorporate consent into my lifestyle, this work naturally found its way into my relationship with Muggins and our interactions with others. I developed improved awareness of myself, my emotions, and my body, I became attuned to my own needs and could finally ask for support.

Now, instead of feeling suffocated by the responsibility of raising and training this puppy, I could recruit everyone around me to share the responsibility for their behavior and learning. I found the connection and support I had been craving, and this opened space in my mind and body to become as attuned to Muggins as I was to myself. I started to recognized their needs and had cultivated the presence and capacity to meet those needs in a way that supported Muggins in becoming aware of themself. 

What does this look like for Muggins? I notice this transformation when they quietly lay down at the doorway to our kitchen to ask for food (they would previously become irritable and "bitey" in a frenzy of hunger); when they remove themself from the front window and finds their way down to our dark bedroom to take a nap (instead of being startled and barking at every sound outside); when they gently touch their nose to another human’s hand and immediately return to me for a treat (instead of jumping on them and pulling me over); and when they initiate a sit and turns their head toward me at the sight of another dog (instead of lunging and barking and pulling at the leash).

Muggins and I have found attunement with ourselves and with each other, and we are so excited to share what we have learned with you.

PROFESSIONAL LICENSUREs & CERTIFICATIONS

• Licensed Occupational Therapist CA #OT18235

• Registered Occupational Therapist NBCOT #392196

• Certified Dog Behavior Consultant IAABC

• Certified Professional Dog Trainer CCPDT: #1112592

EDUCATION

2018 University of Southern CA

Doctorate in Occupational Therapy, Advanced Clinical Practice in Community-Based Mental Health

2017 University of Southern CA

Master of Arts in Occupational Therapy

2003 Ithaca College

Bachelor of Science in Exercise Science; Minor in Health and Psychology

NOTABLE WORK EXPERIENCES

2015-present Holistic Dog Expert, LLC

(owner/operator)

When running this small business in Los Angeles, I provided private coaching, board and train, and dog enrichment sessions. I also provided Safe Dog Interactions workshops in the LA Public Libraries. I specialize in anxiety, aggression, and trauma rehabilitation.

2020 The People Concern

(AAI provider)

I collaborated with the director of Pet’s Landing to design and deliver educational workshops on caring for companion animals.

2017-2019 Painted Brain, Inc.

(Director of OT)

I completed my OTD residency here and then stayed on as the org’s first Director of OT. Some things I did while there include: developing and implementing group and individual OT services focused on coaching adults labeled with serious mental illness on nervous system regulation through a sensory processing lens. I also enhanced the student programming and established 2 paid positions for OT’s within the org.

2017 University of Southern CA

(OT Student)

It was a wonderful experience to collaborate with faculty and another student to develop and implement a 2-day workshop called ‘Introduction to Canine Facilitated Interventions’. We educated healthcare providers on best practices in Animal Assisted Interventions and celebrated the uniquely special opportunities provided by dogs in this work.

2017 Dogwood Therapy

(OT Student)

During my time at this outpatient clinic for children, I provided group and individual OT that incorporated dogs to improve outcomes in nervous system regulation and social interaction. I also conducted a comprehensive review of the site to support them in preparing for accreditation in animal assisted interventions by Animal Assisted Interventions International.

2016 Adelbrook

(OT Student)

During my time with this org (that provides residential and educational services for children with behavioral and developmental disorders), I provided group and individual OT to children to support development of sensorimotor, social, and emotional intelligence skills. I also collaborated with a COTA and MSW to implement a group animal assisted program for adolescents to enhance emotional intelligence and social interactions through interactions with a registered therapy dog.

2005-2015 Animal Assisted Activities

I collaborated with my registered therapy dogs, Gabi (a black Lab) and Ziko (a German Shepherd) to visit with people in nursing homes, hospitals, children’s courts, homeless shelters, and schools. We provided activities that included playing with, talking about, petting, and training dogs. This work is my most cherished - it is what I truly love to do - and it is the reason I became a dog trainer, went to grad school, and started Human Canine Collaborative.

I believe that, regardless of our species, education, experiences, or credentials, we are all gifted, and that it is our purpose in life to discover our unique gifts and share them with the world.

I have come to recognize parts of myself that are unique to me - my gifts. And I would like to share them with you.

My gifts include:

Sensory Sensitivities - I have super sensitive sight, hearing, and touch sensing. These powers allow me to be aware of ALL the information that the environment provides, to imagine all that dogs can hear, and to have many specific ideas about how to calm a nervous system. With these powers I can help you to see the things that are getting in the way of your and your dog’s abilities to thrive.

Translating Info to Implemented Action - I excel at doing what I am told. In other words, I can hear spoken words, and the words go into my brain, I remember them easily, and I can untangle them and lay them out in front of myself as instructions. Then I follow the instructions and can do new things, build new skills, and change my behavior. I am here to teach you how to do this too.

Building Habits - I thrive on consistency and I have the power to be so consistent that my nervous system can regulate and my brain can rest because my actions become daily routines that become automatic ways of caring for myself and Muggins. I also know HOW I do this and I want to teach you all my super power secrets.

Seeing the World From Others’ Perspectives - I love imagining that I am a dog, or a tree, or a fish, or the wind. For as long as I can remember, I have loved and excelled at doing this. This allows me to imagine the world from the perspective of a dog who smells before seeing, who wags a tail instead of speaking their joy, and who lunges on the leash instead of walking away. It can be really difficult to understand our dogs because they cannot talk in words like we do. I am ready to use my gift of perspective-taking to help you understand how your dog feels and perceives the world so that you can communicate with ease and live life fully, together.